Another day, another so-called gaming journalist screaming from their soapbox about the inappropriate representation of women in video games.

Now if you’ve known me personally, followed my twitter posts, or seen my previous editorials, you know that I’m generally a fan of games, anime, and various other media incorporating fanservice of some kind. I’m a heterosexual man, and I enjoy seeing attractive women doing things that please my eyeballs.

Apparently, this is just way too much for some people at the Official Nintendo Magazine to handle, and as such they’ve put out a rather shitty preview for Senran Kagura 2: Deep Crimson in their latest printed magazine.

The preview liberally glances over the gameplay mechanics within the sequel and the improvements made to it, only to instead focus on the controversial emphasis on breasts and buttocks in the game.

You literally can’t make this shit up, these people are essentially flapping mouths spewing forth the most vile of agenda tactics I’ve seen in a long time, or at least since their previous outburst towards the first game, Senran Kagura Burst. Anyway, without further ado, here is the entire preview, converted into text for this article:

“Oh, no. is this happening again? A sequel to the T-shirt-straining antics of Senran Kagura Burst? Must we dignify this filth with a preview?

Really? Gah, fine then – Senran Kagura 2: Deep Crimson (ugh) is in development. For some reason. It’s a “game” about smuggling fleshy watermelons in your top and the only way to win the “game” is by making sure everyone’s seen your bum. That’s right. It’s that deep. There’s also some fighting, and we guess we should mention that, but really it all comes second to the massive amount of love and care the developers put into ensuring their jiggle physics were as ludicrous as possible. ‘Scuse us while we gouge our eyes out with rusty spoons.”

The piece is so awful and poorly written that it even caught the attention of the Production Coordinator at XSEED Games, Hatsuu, who posted several replies on twitter:

“Really glad it’s always the ones who are against fanservice that notice and research as far as JUST the fanservice in SENRAN KAGURA. I think it was Nintendo Magazine UK that had the idiot trying to boycott SK w/o doing research last year, right? Maybe it’s the same guy.

Let’s ignore the combat, the story, the new playable male character, the badass tag-team & equip system, improved/added bestiary, etc. Game journalists don’t have to like SK, but they could take a few min to write a reputable report that DOESN’T make them look like a twat. I have always expressed that it’s completely okay to be uncomfortable with SK or to say, “Hey, I don’t think that’s for me.” I just like when research is done before making that decision.”

Hatsuu continued with a more thought out response today, completely dissecting the original article from ONM:

“Got a full night’s rest & I still can’t cool down over a dude calling an entire female cast, “a bunch of simpering, jiggly-boobed cretins.” And that apparently large breasts is just smuggling fleshy watermelons, lol not like women with large breasts actually exist or anything.

Wow… I can’t believe there’s more than one person for Nintendo UK who would write such awful things. Can’t believe that Forbidden Magna preview is just as bad as the SK one. People were telling me that was the case, but wow. Wow.

Remember this, ladies: If you’re not fully clothed, you don’t have any character development. None! Don’t even bother trying to be a person. You’re just fodder for a few poorly written jokes. That’s the progressive way! Goooooo, women! As long as you do your research & write facts for your readers, I think any personal opinion is fine. Not just opinions alone.”

Oh, I forgot to mention they also put out a bite sized preview for Marvelous AQL’s other upcoming 3DS game, Forbidden Magna, which they also farted all over:

“We’ve tried to squeeze as much as we can out of a rather cryptic trailer, so here goes. Forbidden Magna is a game about scantily clad women, really long swords and something that might be crystal meth. Maybe it’s an anime Breaking Bad game. It’s definitely a fantasy RPG, because, hey, what isn’t these days, and it sounds like you get to run an inn in between doing all that drug dealing, or monster fighting, or whatever those pink-haired, big-eyed gals are supposed to be doing. Whatever it is, it’s coming out in Japan in October.”

So I’m going to just come out and say it – is the Official Nintendo Magazine run by a bunch of fucking tumblr-frequenting, agenda pushing, illiterate imbeciles? Not only is their writing terrible, but they do absolutely no homework on the games themselves just as Hatsuu mentioned, instead looking to just barf all over them with their social justice agenda.

I’m sorry for not being sorry, but I have zero tolerance for this kind of poisonous, reactionary journalism that adds absolutely NOTHING to the discussion. It literally does nothing for the game, its developers, its publisher, and so on. The only thing this kind of discussion does is brings in the clicks and the ad revenue, because isn’t that what gaming journalism (and most so-called journalists) is all about these days?

Well look here comes yet another wacky and fanservice laden game from Japan, it’s time to wheel out that controversy drum, because we’re going to have to bang it until everyone pays attention to us! I just don’t buy into their terrible, shoddy form of a husk that is a magazine, if that’s the kind of filth they’re pushing to the market.

Whereas Senran Kagura may be offensive to some people for its content, at least the developers are not trying to force a terrible, absolutely shitty opinion on others like in the case of the folks at the Official Nintendo Magazine. You can simply dislike something and that’s fine, but to keep screaming until someone changes things to your liking is not going to help, and as I said before – it adds nothing to the discussion.

That original piece by the Official Nintendo Magazine is libelous in nature, pure and simple. It not only trashes the game in favor of that writer’s own agenda, but it has zero mention of what the sequel is bringing with it above the original game. It briefly mentions that the game has “some fighting,” but proceeds to just destroy anything the game could possibly stand for, except its sex appeal – which the writer clearly finds revolting.

Why is it ok to forcefully rip out someone’s spine, or continuously kill hundreds, thousands of Nazis, nameless villagers and indigenous people – but it’s completely not ok to show games with some fanservice, and some sexuality? Why is it that we give murder simulators a pass, and yet games like Senran Kagura get lambasted for their open embracing of female breasts and butts?

So lastly, and I sincerely mean this from the bottom of my heart – people will continue liking games with large breasts and crazy breast physics. You can’t stop this Official Nintendo Magazine, and you can’t stop fans like me from getting their share of eye candy. So grow the fuck up and stop taking pot shots at a developer when there’s more to the game than just the tits. Seriously.

The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily represent the views and opinions of, and should not be attributed to, Niche Gamer as an organization.