Mass mainstream media monolith ViacomCBS partners with Wattpad (via The Verge) so they can mine for ideas to produce new shows. The notoriously infamous fanfiction site Wattpad paved the way for many a Tumblr user to be able to brain-dump all their awful, cockamamie stories.
Anyone who is as familiar with social media as I am hopefully also finds this entirely bizarre new media production scheme as amusing and unnerving as I do.
Wattpad has quite the history from just the One Direction fanbase alone. They were more insufferable than any current year Kpop fan, anime elitist dork, purple-haired activist Twitter dweeb, and Qanon boomer combined.
The sheer amount of bizarre, hysterical, hyper-sexually charged, and evergreen shitpost material that has its origins from Wattpad is staggering. It’s truly a sight to behold, be forewarned.
The rabbit hole of cringey One Direction, Harry Potter, Supernatural, and Homestuck fanfics will leave your head spinning and wishing for a life raft.
The news that ViacomCBS partners with Wattpad also means stories will be mined from not just Wattpad but also their sister site, Webtoon. Their parent company, Naver, bought up Wattpad for $600 million earlier this year to appeal to millennial audiences. That’s exactly what they want, cringe forcefully regurgitated from a time on the internet that is better off being forgotten.
Media companies and Hollywood are so creatively and morally bankrupt that they’re now considering using some random edgelord kids random trolling and shitposts. Screeds like how they wish for Harry Styles to walk into their bedroom and bless them with an immaculate conception of another One Direction.
I for one, am looking forward to the funposting fodder that this unholy union will propagate and throw out like a loud, wet fart inside a full elevator at the mall. Here’s to another era of “holy shit why did I read that, what am I doing with my life?” full length TV sitcom episodes and buddy comedy movies!
Editor’s Note: Featured/header image is from the funny short “UNACCEPTABLE”
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