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The historic county Yorkshire has had a long history of tough times. The War of the Roses. The multitude of coal miner strikes over the years. Being northern. Now, local communities have an uncertain future yet again.
The European Union have approved of Articles 11 and 13, effectively banning memes that use any copy-written content. Many tech giants have deemed the laws devastating to Internet freedom as a whole, but have been slow to act due to not actually caring.
Brexit is a lynch pin in whether the UK will be subjected to these laws, but recent discussions in the Houses of Parliament have ended on sour terms. A full on brawl between MPs was only stopped by a fast-thinking member of security shouting out “Whose rent-boy is this?!” causing the MPs to scatter.
On the outskirts of Barnsley Yorkshire, Ridley Plan and many other miners are unsure what their futures will be.
“My father and grandfather both told me ‘ow awful the strikes were back in the 1910s, 1920s, 1950s, 1960s, 1970s, and 1980s. We thought moving onto meme mining would guarantee more chances to strike.”
Veins of raw memes were found in many of Yorkshire’s coal, batter, and gravy mines in the early 2000s. Some economists claim the UK may supply as high as 35% of memes across Europe, disregarding Germany as they are still upset about The War.
Nearly half of all UK memes are sold to the US due to the low language barrier, combined with how Hollywood films have made many Americans forget what humor actually is.
Even with the demand for memes being at an all time high during the 2016 US elections, many fear the new EU laws could slash the demand for memes.
“It’s a crying shame I tell thee,” said mining foreman John Wontshift, “We’ve made such great leaps in memeology by gum. We can refine Dogesite better than ever. Before it was some dog that spoke broken English, then it was about the little blighter getting divorced and in all sorts of bother. Now we have memes about wholesome family scenarios. We want to see how memes can evolve beyond it.”
UK politicians have tried to reassure the public that mine closures will be “unlikely.” Chancellor of the Exchequer Phillip Hammond insisted that UK meme production would be escalating to keep up with demands for the PewDiePie/T-Series War.
We attempted to contact Stephen Barclay, the UK’s Secretary of State for Exiting the European Union. However all we could make out over the phone was “Please stop asking…”, along with the sound of sobbing and another glass of gin being poured.
We also approached the European Union for comment. A representative told us that memes were not as essential to the Internet as many believed, stating they “do not affect global communication and cultural exchange as much as major corporations selling bland media to appeal to the masses.”
We asked if Articles 11 and 13 would become major talking points in European elections on May 23rd-26th this year. The representative then reacted with surprise, turning into a bat and flying back to EU Parliament headquarters.
All we know for certain is that the Internet may not be the same for Europeans and possibly Britain if the laws are not repealed during the next European Election. In addition, it sets a worrying precedent for justifying such laws in other parts of the world.
When asked how the UK Porn License could affect him, Mr. Wontshift stated “The UK waifu mines just can’t compete with Japan- nobody can- and besides, no one is paying for nowt ’round ‘ere, let alone porn.”
[Editor’s Note: Image via the Financial Times]
