Hey Niche Gamer Nation, this is Brandon, the owner and editor-in-chief of Niche Gamer. I never thought I’d have to write this post, but it looks like we’re going to no longer be an independent website!

I was approached by “the suits” from a popular internet blogging network, and they made me an offer I couldn’t refuse. I won’t disclose how much money it was, but it was enough for me to give up the morals and standards that I previously had, and walk away from this little start up that I created almost two years ago.

So what does this mean for Niche Gamer? Well, for one, we are no longer going to be pandering to the sexually depraved—by that I mean we’re no longer going to be showing imagery, video, or writing that depicts women in a sexualized way, as the new management feels this is problematic for all women.

If we absolutely have to write about sexualized women, we’re going to censor everything, like this:

You shouldn’t be exposed to this bigoted and juvenile artwork—it doesn’t matter what the original artist intended. That’s right, we’re going to be a progressive website from now on, and by that I mean we’re going to aggressively inject our personal biases and politics into everything we cover.

You’ll no longer have to think for yourself because we’ll do that for you, and we’ll also tell you what’s bad, and why you’re bad for liking it! Oh, I also fired everyone from our staff, effective immediately, because we need to ensure that everyone here thinks the same things.

Later, people, I’m off to hop into my solid gold airplane that also happens to be a spaceship.