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John Cena in Talks to Star in Live-Action Duke Nukem Movie

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A new report is pointing to a new live-action Duke Nukem movie being in the works, and what’s more – the production reportedly have their Duke with WWE superstar John Cena.

The report (via Hollywood Reporter) claims Cena is currently in negotiations to play the role of the alien-killing, one-liner touting and politically incorrect action hero. The production is reportedly being overseen by Paramount Pictures with production being handled by Platinum Dunes, the company run by Michael Bay, Andrew Form, and Brad Fuller.

No director is currently picked, and a writer hasn’t been selected yet as the search for one begins now with the intention of developing a plot for Cena to fit in nicely.

The project was previously being made at Dimension Films. Not much is known about the actual movie itself other than it will naturally follow the exploits of the Duke himself as he kicks alien behind and woos voluptuous women.

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70 comments
  1. OldPalpy
    OldPalpy
    January 22, 2018 at 8:12 pm

    That’s honestly not the worst casting in the world although there is zero chance of the actual movie being any good.

  2. JohnnyCageFan2
    JohnnyCageFan2
    January 22, 2018 at 8:13 pm

    OH FUCK! OH FUCK! OH FUCK! WHY!? They know that it’s not April 1st yet, right?

  3. goodbyejojo
    goodbyejojo
    January 22, 2018 at 8:24 pm

    this is so random that it might work.

  4. JonahTHD
    JonahTHD
    January 22, 2018 at 8:31 pm

    >Video game movie
    Well we all know it’s already going to fail…

  5. Mr0303
    Mr0303
    January 22, 2018 at 8:33 pm

    A Duke movie would be awesome but I can’t see Hollywood correctly representing his anti-PC persona.

  6. Envy-Noson
    Envy-Noson
    January 22, 2018 at 8:34 pm

    Ok, I have no witty comments or complaints to say. ?

  7. Envy-Noson
    Envy-Noson
    January 22, 2018 at 8:35 pm

    I want to believe…

  8. JonahTHD
    JonahTHD
    January 22, 2018 at 8:40 pm

    Well somebody sure does like to engage in the act of futility.

  9. PChandler
    PChandler
    January 22, 2018 at 8:47 pm

    Yep, just for fear alone of being called “sexist”, muh-soggy-knee, mahogany, they’re not gonna copy Duke’s persona at all. I’s gonna be yet another shitty game movie like Doom, Hitman or Max Payne, a big budget Uwe Boll-esque turd.

  10. GrimFate
    GrimFate
    January 22, 2018 at 8:49 pm

    I doubt it too. The only way they would consider allowing Duke to be Duke would be if he had a Mary Sue sidekick who would constantly reprimand him for his attitude, effectively teaching the audience how toxic masculinity is, and probably either out-performing him or saving him a couple times to show how the female way is how things should be done.

  11. TheOnceAndFutureKing
    TheOnceAndFutureKing
    January 22, 2018 at 8:51 pm

    “politically incorrect action hero”

    Yeah…Hollywood is going to fuck this up

  12. TheOnceAndFutureKing
    TheOnceAndFutureKing
    January 22, 2018 at 8:53 pm

    if xXx 3 had a “badass” blue haired woman, then I wouldn’t be surprised if Duke gets a token frizzy fro Mary Sue sidekick emasculating him just like that bald headed bitch in Mad Max: Feminist Road.

  13. GrimFate
    GrimFate
    January 22, 2018 at 8:55 pm

    John Cena? Nice. Michael Bay? Not a big fan, but he could work for this if somehow involved. Mindless actions and explosions seems to fit. I’d consider seeing it if there was evidence that they actually had the balls to make an 80’s-style action movie, with a macho masculine man in the lead without having any of the modern anti-masculinity B.S., but I think I’m hoping for too much.

  14. GrimFate
    GrimFate
    January 22, 2018 at 9:00 pm

    I thought you might have been kidding, but I just watched the trailer and, yup, she’s in there… (Also, almost googled “xxx 3” on a work computer, which would have been a terrible idea xD) You have just helped me lose 20% of my hope for this movie to be good.

  15. Gigaknight
    Gigaknight
    January 22, 2018 at 9:01 pm

    These are the kinds of people who can’t and won’t tell even the truth if it happens to be incompatible with (or, even better, contradict) their worldview. They may try, but they’ll drag their feet and it’ll show conspicuously.

  16. AnarKreig
    AnarKreig
    January 22, 2018 at 9:05 pm

    Cue the Duke Nukem and John Cena theme mash-ups.

  17. OldPalpy
    OldPalpy
    January 22, 2018 at 9:30 pm

    It’s funny how despite knowing jack shit about what the story of that trainwreck Han Solo movie is beyond references you know it will almost certainly have what you’re talking about, some kind of fun space western movie would just be too problematic with it’s toxic masculinity. Having a NU Star Wars film where the lead isn’t a lady with a british accent seems like it would be a breathe of fresh air from their agenda pushing but I suspect that’s a red herring if the message is “don’t be like toxic Han Solo”.

  18. MKDAWUSS
    MKDAWUSS
    January 22, 2018 at 9:31 pm

    This has disaster written all over it.

  19. TheOnceAndFutureKing
    TheOnceAndFutureKing
    January 22, 2018 at 9:35 pm

    Just to break down how much we know of Solo and why it will most likely bomb.

    – Almost the entire film had to be re-shot

    – The actor for Han needed acting lessons in the middle of filming

    – Childish Gambino playing Lando (why?)

    – The film is just around the corner and there has been little to no promotion

    – Disney themselves have doubts after TLJ

  20. GrimFate
    GrimFate
    January 22, 2018 at 9:44 pm

    Yeah, I imagine you’re right. I’m surprised they even green-lit a movie with a white male lead.

    Speaking of Han, there was a little of what I described in the original trilogy, with him and Leia – the strong female character that lambasted the male character for the way he was – but somehow that didn’t come off cringeworthy or grating. Wonder what the difference is, because they don’t seem to be able to pull it off well these days.

  21. bdp
    bdp
    January 22, 2018 at 9:45 pm

    Can’t be worse than duke nukem forever i guess.

  22. Eighto
    Eighto
    January 22, 2018 at 10:09 pm

    You know what? Why the fuck not. I’ll look forward to it. It literally can’t be worse than what we usually get. Maybe it’ll be a fun flick. Even if it is bad, I think I’ll make my own fun out of it.

  23. Uncle Ocelot
    Uncle Ocelot
    January 22, 2018 at 10:38 pm

    Solo will make TLJ look like a masterpiece.

  24. OldPalpy
    OldPalpy
    January 22, 2018 at 10:38 pm

    Translation:I want a pay check, DNF didn’t already kill my character :^), I want a pay check PS. I want a pay check

  25. DrearierSpider
    DrearierSpider
    January 22, 2018 at 10:40 pm

    Too bad Duke would have only worked as a movie in the 80’s. Michael Bay + [CURRENT YEAR] Hollywood are sure to ruin any potential good in this.

  26. DrearierSpider
    DrearierSpider
    January 22, 2018 at 10:43 pm

    Yep. Hollywood needs to shove feminism down our throats so that they’re not suspected of being a den of rapists and pedophiles.

  27. OldPalpy
    OldPalpy
    January 22, 2018 at 10:44 pm

    The people writing it nowadays have chips on their shoulders and want to get into photo-ops wearing “the force is female” t-shirts and it shows in forced cringy ways like Rose’s infamous love quote.

  28. TheOnceAndFutureKing
    TheOnceAndFutureKing
    January 22, 2018 at 10:45 pm

    Idk, I could see audiences liking it better since it will prob be a mediocre action movie at best as opposed to the nihilistic postmodern mess TLJ was.

  29. Uncle Ocelot
    Uncle Ocelot
    January 22, 2018 at 10:46 pm

    The moment they announced that GoT chick who can’t act I knew where they were going to go, upstaging Han in his own movie. Kathleen will probably make her put on the british accent too.

  30. GrimFate
    GrimFate
    January 22, 2018 at 10:48 pm

    Bleh. Glad I’ve only seen the defeminized version of TLJ lol

  31. GrimFate
    GrimFate
    January 22, 2018 at 10:51 pm

    Oh, he hit on something I overlooked. This is gonna be PG-13, isn’t it? Please no!

  32. OldPalpy
    OldPalpy
    January 22, 2018 at 11:00 pm

    Unless something changed aren’t Micheal Bay and [CURRENT YEAR] Hollywood like oil and water?

  33. Madbrainbox
    Madbrainbox
    January 22, 2018 at 11:34 pm

    Yet,he’s not wrong.

  34. NukeA6
    NukeA6
    January 22, 2018 at 11:52 pm

    I’d watch a Duke Nukem movie. If it was made in Japan or Russia.

  35. TheOnceAndFutureKing
    TheOnceAndFutureKing
    January 23, 2018 at 12:05 am

    Han was pretty alpha in ESB, the way he kissed Leia on the Millennium Falcon triggered the hell out of SJWs today.

  36. GameZard
    GameZard
    January 23, 2018 at 12:07 am

    John Cena is a shitty actor though.

  37. GameZard
    GameZard
    January 23, 2018 at 12:12 am

    In pg13 duke?

  38. No_Good_Names_Ever
    No_Good_Names_Ever
    January 23, 2018 at 12:12 am

    How do you PC Duke Nukem?

  39. GameZard
    GameZard
    January 23, 2018 at 12:12 am

    Make him gay.

  40. TheOnceAndFutureKing
    TheOnceAndFutureKing
    January 23, 2018 at 12:14 am

    Just scrolled through his tweets and holy shit, is everyone on twitter such a fucking cuck?

  41. sanic
    sanic
    January 23, 2018 at 12:18 am

    Can he be dubbed over by Jon St. John?

  42. No_Good_Names_Ever
    No_Good_Names_Ever
    January 23, 2018 at 12:19 am

    He’d still be too white and violent.

  43. No_Good_Names_Ever
    No_Good_Names_Ever
    January 23, 2018 at 12:20 am

    And have all the little kids they’re gonna aim the movie towards, pull switch knives out on them? I think not.

  44. damian
    damian
    January 23, 2018 at 1:03 am

    Idk, I could see audiences liking it better since it will prob be a mediocre action movie at best as opposed to the nihilistic postmodern mess TLJ was.

  45. Shattno
    Shattno
    January 23, 2018 at 3:45 am

    Please don’t. It can never end well.

  46. *_brutal3_*
    *_brutal3_*
    January 23, 2018 at 4:12 am

    OH FUCK! OH FUCK! OH FUCK! WHY!? They know that it’s not April 1st yet, right?

  47. nevaehw
    nevaehw
    January 23, 2018 at 6:18 am

    Can’t be worse than duke nukem forever i guess.

  48. Lennard Dietrich
    Lennard Dietrich
    January 23, 2018 at 6:43 am

    Please don’t. It can never end well.

  49. ProxyDoug
    ProxyDoug
    January 23, 2018 at 7:35 am

    That’s because Leia was right while Han was the hero of his own story. The problem with stories now, is that the female lead is always right plot or trope wise, but not logically, while while the male character either shuts up and listen or is punished for doing what he believes in.

  50. ProxyDoug
    ProxyDoug
    January 23, 2018 at 7:36 am

    The answer is absolutely yes.

  51. ProxyDoug
    ProxyDoug
    January 23, 2018 at 7:39 am

    inb4 the stars align and this is a cultural fenomena that changes Hollywood and culture and does what Deadpool couldn’t… Well, not gonna happen, but one can dream.

  52. SevTheBear
    SevTheBear
    January 23, 2018 at 8:04 am

    I smell another shitty movie from Hollywood. In no way can this end well.

  53. 2501
    2501
    January 23, 2018 at 8:16 am

    This is Michael Bay we are talking about here. The guy only cares about 3 things in film…

    Blowing shit up
    Tits & Ass
    Black stereotypes/ Nigga jokes.

    I doubt he gives a flying fuck about someone’s feminist agenda.

  54. Snorlaxation
    Snorlaxation
    January 23, 2018 at 11:30 am

    a role you can easily imagine him playing.

  55. OldPalpy
    OldPalpy
    January 23, 2018 at 12:00 pm

    About what game movies being shit? That’s not a bold statements, CG ones haven’t been any better look at the recent Ratchet & Clank for example but he pretends that’s not the case because one path has him getting a paycheck the other doesn’t. DNF ruined Duke but do you really think he cares about that more than the cash he got from it?

  56. Matz
    Matz
    January 23, 2018 at 2:13 pm

    I don’t know, he made us believe he was a good wrestler

  57. RetroGamer
    RetroGamer
    January 23, 2018 at 2:36 pm

    I agree with his sentiment, but the last game already did a good enough job of killing off the character.

  58. Ax
    Ax
    January 23, 2018 at 2:48 pm

    NOW he cares about Duke character?

  59. lucben999
    lucben999
    January 23, 2018 at 3:09 pm

    The ones who aren’t got banned long ago.

  60. Squirrel on crack cocaine.
    Squirrel on crack cocaine.
    January 23, 2018 at 3:25 pm

    The Duke is a sex obsessed, drug taking, cigar smoking, testosterone fueled ass kicker who thinks PC is for cucks. Hollywood will make him a caring, vegan, Hillary Supporting Soy Boy who is placed on the bench for a purple haired “I don’t need no man” woman who will no doubt take on an army of aliens on her own.

    This will join the ranks of the dozens of failed video game movies. Plus, we already have a Duke Nukem move. It’s called every Stalone/Arnold/ Willis movie from the 80’s.

  61. Γεώργιος Αρχαιοκαπηλίδης
    Γεώργιος Αρχαιοκαπηλίδης
    January 23, 2018 at 10:55 pm

    A Hollywood R-Rated CG movie. Sure, in which planet? The only CG movies that sell are the family-friendly. And if they even bother to make an R-Rated one, it will be a comical one.

  62. SLoWMoTIoN?
    SLoWMoTIoN?
    January 24, 2018 at 9:14 am

    Eh, Duke is fucking dead though. Who would want this after Gearbox fucked it?

  63. Funtime Happysnacks
    Funtime Happysnacks
    January 24, 2018 at 12:13 pm

    If they keep Gearbox completely detached from having ANY input whatsoever, it could be okay as mindless entertainment.

    If they allow Gearbox to add any conditions or stipulations then it will be complete fucking shit.

  64. Funtime Happysnacks
    Funtime Happysnacks
    January 24, 2018 at 12:17 pm

    Oh and to add to those problems, we now know the film stars Han and a “girl Han” basically, named Qi’ra (the lego set of the film leaked the girl lead). She looks to be a literal female version of Solo with similar clothes and even the same iconic blaster.

    This is apparently what equality means: women forgoing feminine culture and just stealing/hijacking masculine culture and then painting over it crudely to make it theirs instead.

  65. JohnnyCageFan2
    JohnnyCageFan2
    January 24, 2018 at 6:10 pm

    Of course they won’t. And it’s not going to help with him repeating the same five lines over and over.

  66. Madbrainbox
    Madbrainbox
    January 25, 2018 at 10:51 am

    I don’t care what his motivation is.DNF or not,he’s good at playing Duke and John Cena doesn’t seem like a good fit for the role.