Tumblr Users Calculated the Size of Luigi’s Penis

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Nintendo fans never cease to amaze me with their frightening dedication to the Japanese company’s games and its mascots. The recent blurb for Mario Tennis Aces had some new character artwork for the game revealed, upon which fans noticed Mario’s typically forlorn brother Luigi has a noticeable bulge in his white shorts.

Internet goers were either outraged that Luigi has male genitalia or began instantly speculating how big his equipment was. Tumblr user fortooate and others were actually using speculative algebra and other mathematical theorems in an attempt to figure out how long his penis is both flaccid and erect.

“Some rough work reveals that Luigi may be close to four inches flaccid, although this is a) simply one interpretation of which way his dick is resting, b) therefore is merely an educated guess as to length, c) does not account for any level of partial erection, & d) reveals little to nothing about his erect measurement,” said fortooate.

Twitter user Comics212 instead said “The difference between Tumblr and Twitter is that Twitter users are all upset about Luigi’s dick bulge because they’re so fucking basic,” while also pointing out that Tumblr users were actively trying to figure out an actual measurement for his Italian sausage.

Here’s a brief rundown on the game, via Nintendo:

Unleash an arsenal of shots and strategies in all-out tennis battles with friends, family and fan-favorite Mushroom Kingdom characters. With up to four-player local (additional accessories may be required and are sold separately) and online multiplayer, and a story mode that even includes creative boss battles, Mario Tennis Aces is one of the most robust Mario sports games yet. The intuitive and deep gameplay allows for exciting competitions in the living room or, really, anywhere using the power of Nintendo Switch. In Swing Mode, players can use their Joy-Con controllers like a tennis racket, swinging them to initiate the tennis swings in the game.

Mario Tennis Aces is launching for the Nintendo Switch on June 22nd.

Brandon Orselli

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Big Papa Overlord at Niche Gamer. Italian. Dad. Outlaw fighting for a better game industry. I also write about music, food, & beer. Also an IT guy.